Third Time's A Charm?

Today I sent in the rental contract and the deposit for the honeymoon. The third scheduled honeymoon. Technically it might actually be the fourth, but we'll call it the third. The first plan was to go to St. Lucia. It was booked for about 7 months or so before we decided to scale back and go instead to Jamaica. We changed the resort reservations, changed flights, and started looking at what the Sandals in Ocho Rios had to offer for a couple of daredevil honeymooners like us. We were excited about the zipline tour through the rain forest. We bought aquasocks to climb the waterfalls. We got new golf balls and a travel bag for my clubs. And then ... The Incident happened.
At first, Dr. Positivity seemed to think we might be able to go on our honeymoon, just 5 weeks later. As the weeks progressed, it become more clear that the healing wasn't happening - and neither was the honeymoon.
My surgery was scheduled for October 5. I had a bone graft, a plate and 5 screws put in my foot. We talked to Dr. Positivity and agreed sometime around Thanksgiving might be more realistic to take the trip. Surely I would be walking by then. So we got back on the phone with Sandals and the airlines. I dreamed of cute flip flops and sand in my toes. And as the days got shorter and cooler, and suddenly the holidays were just ahead on the calendar, we admitted what we had been trying to avoid - there was no way we were taking this trip.
Rather than keep moving the dates, we killed the idea of the islands and Sandals altogether. Thankfully, one of us was smart enough to get travel insurance. We filed the claim and banked the settlement for the next attempt at a honeymoon... when I would actually - finally - be able to travel.
For a while we didn't even discuss it anymore, it was I guess just too disappointing. Once the conversation started again, nothing sounded right. I really, really want a honeymoon, not just another vacation. I wanted to do something we'd never, ever do any other time. Our getting married is extremely special - our honeymoon had to be, too.
So a couple of weeks ago Gary called me and asked me what I thought of something he came across. Had the cash been in my account at the time, I would have booked the trip before we even hung up. So after many phone calls and emails to make sure no matter what happens we can enjoy our once-in-a-lifetime trip whether I'm scooting or walking or rolling - our honeymoon is booked. Flights, rental house and tickets to the main event. And so - drumroll please - we are going to the 2010 Pebble Beach Food & Wine Festival! And for two people who love food and wine and like to pretend we're VIPs, this couldn't be any more perfect. 50 of the world's best chefs. 150 vintners. The culinary experience of a lifetime...
And the house? 100 yards from Lover's Point Beach in Pacific Grove. Entertainment system that goes throughout the whole house. Spa for 2 with chromotherapy. Heated floors. And most importantly - us. Together. Alone. And regardless of what happens with The Foot in the next 2 1/2 months, we can still go, and still enjoy the honeymoon we really, really need at this point - and completely, truly deserve.

It's Time Yet

Every day at our house - at around 5:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. - we play a game of "Is it time yet?!?" Bartlet starts whining for his 6:00 feeding - and I do mean WHINING - and Gary and I constantly, and partially unconsciously repeat, "It's not time yet!" But then, when that glorious moment comes 5:59:59, exasperated, one of us will say, "Hey Bartlet, it's time yet!"
The last 6 months - since The Incident that broke my foot and shattered my independence - we have adjusted everything in our regular routines to accomodate me and my foot. Before then, I had always been fiercely independent - almost to a fault. Just this morning I spent a lot of time in deep thought trying to figure out what has been worse, not being able to walk, or not being able to drive. I decided that it's not being able to drive. But then, as the day went on, I realized those weren't the only options.
For several weeks, if not more, I've had an incredible amount of anxiety. My lists of things to do - and I make several each day - are more than I can stand to look at. Many days I don't even take them out of my bag. Today, as the post-it notes and scribble-dy scratch stacked up on my desk I realized it has nothing to do with walking or driving, it's my general inability to get stuff done.
Those of you who know me well know this is nothing new. I go through stages where I'm productive and then entirely not productive. And what would make me more non-productive than not being able to walk or drive?!? For me, it's the perfect excuse to do nothing, and to complain about nothing getting done.
I realized today it's far worse for me to not go to the dentist/allergist/endocrinologist/Social Security Office/DMV than it is for me to ask for help. So I put my tail between my legs, made calls, and made appointments. More importantly, I stopped whining in my head, and I asked for help. Because - after 6 months - it's time yet.

Back Again

So here I am again.
I tried the blog thing last year while planning The Wedding, but it got away from me. Aside from the actual plans - the things some of you needed to know to get and/or stay here - I either couldn't find the time, or more likely, I couldn't put my thoughts into words I felt I could share with many people. Planning The Wedding was the third worst experience of my life (it's making it's way to 4th place right now, but that's another story...) I had so much anxiety and experienced so much heartbreak that it was simply just too hard to let my thoughts and feelings loose. Maybe I should have, maybe it would have helped me cope. But I didn't.
But now I will (try).
I have all these things I need to get out of my head - and I'm hoping this time around letting it out really will help me cope, calm down - chill, if you will. But right now I'm literally chilling - freezing cold - and need to go find a sock. Just one because I'm not going to the trouble of taking off my bone stimulator and boot just to put a sock on my right foot. So I'm off to search for one sock - while thinking about where to begin that part of the story...